Review: Schwartz's: The Musical

Photo credit: lucetg.com

A MUSICAL IT AIN’T

Or “Schwartz’s The Musical: The Musical Review”

by Robi Halecs

The lobby of Centaur Theatre. March 31, 2011. An ensemble of Montreal’s most famous theatre-goers are waiting outside the auditorium. Suddenly the THEATRE CRITIC enters. The Ensemble surrounds him.

ENSEMBLE (singing)

DON’T SPEAK TO US OF LIBYA OR THE CRISIS IN IRAQ

DON’T SAY JAPAN’S REACTORS HAVE HAD ANOTHER CRACK

DON’T TALK ABOUT ELECTIONS OR OF HARPER IN CONTEMPT

A NEW MUSICAL HAS OPENED – AND THAT’S THE MAIN EVENT!

JEREMY HECHTMAN: (spoken)

Is it true it’s based on a book by Bill Brownstein?

PAUL VAN DYCK: (spoken)

Is it true there’s a dancing pickle on stage?

ALEX HABER: (spoken)

Is it true the show’s written by Bowser and Blue?

UNION LEADER (spoken)

Is it true the actors get minimum wage?