Tour Whore, October 21, 2012

I’d call it networking, except...
by Cameryn Moore

It is exceptionally easy to get stuck in Producer’s Mind out here: How many tickets have I sold? How the hell am I going to get those posters up, and where? Who is my tech person for Austin, Nashville, New York? Even on the Canadian Fringe circuit, when these questions are easy to answer, or are already answered for me, I get into it, crunching the numbers, plotting the schedule, doing the interviews, hell, finding the great Secret Parking Spot. (Oh, yes, they exist in every Fringe, in every city. I haven’t found them everywhere, but that just means I haven’t spent enough time in that city yet. I’ll find them.)

These are important questions. I would never want to ignore them. But I have noticed that when I pull my attention back a little, away from the micro-management, room opens up for some truly serendipitous stuff. I realized a few days ago that I’m experiencing it more this year, probably because my Producer’s Mind feels a little more comfortable running as a background loop. Or I’m more comfortable moving it to the background. Whatever it is, it frees up the rest of my consciousness for connecting.

you forget about dating and just go out and do things that you like

I meet people, and they are interesting. People I want to stay friends with. Or I’m meeting people who other people say I “should know”. I’m not seeking them out, I mean, I’m always on the lookout for these people, but this year, more than in years prior, it feels like they’re just popping up. Or I’m meeting people in other parts of the country, the continent, the fucking world, where I haven’t been yet, or I was last year, and I don’t know when I’ll be there again, but maybe, maybe. Or I’m meeting people who don’t live in the city where I meet them, but they’re going back to their hometown tomorrow, which happens to be a city where I’ll be performing in four weeks. That sort of thing.

It’s pretty stunning.

I’d call it networking, except that calls to mind stuffy conference rooms or glittering, slightly awkward cocktail parties, and “Hello My Name Is” badges and business cards, and two people’s single-mindedness that is just awkward when they don’t quite match up. Networking is not the word for when I’m out there pounding out Sidewalk Smut for people, or trolling OKCupid for potential hookups, or hanging out for Post-Show Pancakes at a bar after a show, meeting folks from the audience and riding my post-show buzz like a wonderful warm wave, or handing cards to people who have stopped by my typewriter to chat, stay in touch, please, I say, and I really do mean it.

This isn’t networking, this is just me enjoying myself.

I feel like I’m relearning something I already knew that applies to dating. People always ask, how do you find people to date? The stock answer is, you forget about dating and just go out and do things that you like.

How do I find anyone I want to meet or make out with or collaborate with or plan a conference with? Apparently the same way: forget about any of that and just go out and do things that I like.

Whoa. Mind Officially Blown.

Or I go to a coffee date to see about maybe a hook-up, but it doesn’t really work out that way, and he brings his girlfriend...

So, I am out on the sidewalk, typing away at my smut. I’m not pimping my show specifically, not at the beginning, because Producer Mind says, only give the postcards to people from here, they’re the only ones who can come, you only have a few. But when people from Germany or Pittsburgh or London, UK, ask for a card, I give it to them, because who knows? Who knows when I’ll be through? And yes, find me on Facebook, not to amp up my numbers or to score a billet in Germany, but because my network of friends and colleagues is awesome, and a smiling encounter on a night-time sidewalk is as good a reason as any to stay in touch.

Or I go to a coffee date to see about maybe a hook-up, but it doesn’t really work out that way, and he brings his girlfriend, who I knew already on FB, and rather than get hung up on, oh, I guess I’m not getting any with this guy, I just open up to well, I should get to know this person. It turns out he’s super fun and his girlfriend is, too, and he knows a professor at a local university, head of the sex and sexuality department, and he thinks the two of us should meet, hell yes, we should. Oh, and by the way, am I available for a short set of stand-up comedy in this burlesque show they’re doing next week?

Or I’m just hanging out in a bar, that doesn’t happen that often, but lately I have been trying to make the effort to get out, rather than stay huddled over my laptop all the time, and this lady notices my slut (r)evolution pin, and she and her friend are like, what’s that, we want one! Fortunately I have a couple extra in my purse, and they’re from LA, just visiting, and we end up having a long, involved conversation about gender politics and the reclaiming of the word “slut”. They take both of my cards and they are excited, and who knows if they’ll actually follow through and find me online, but I hope they do, because we had important honest things to say to one another, and that conversation wasn’t done, it just ended when their cab came.

That. For that I will make more room, for that I will set my Producer Mind gently to one side. There is no way to plan it, no way to schedule it in or budget for it. Connection happens as strangely in life as in love as in theatre. I had almost forgotten. God, I am so glad to remember.

camerynmoore.com