The Friday Five, February 24, 2012

Five Reasons Why We're Stopping The Friday Five

Your worst nightmare has come true. The gates of hell have swung open and flaming horrors scream through your mind, devouring your happiness, your sanity, your very will to live. Where once you had faith, there is now only darkness. Where once you had strength, there lies a broken child. Where once you had hope, there sits a steaming pile of hopeshit. The Matt and Kyle and Matt Friday Five has come to an end, and with it, the end of all things. Why? Choose one of the answers below. 

by Kyle Gatehouse of Matt and Kyle and Matt

The Friday Five, February 17, 2012

(fig. 1)

FIVE WAYS TO SIT IN THE AUDIENCE

Try these out with your friends!

by Matt Raudsepp of Matt and Kyle and Matt

1. Nobody To My Left/Somebody To My Right: Safe (fig. 1)

The Holy Grail of assigned seating. Some “theatre goer” didn’t go, and you find yourself with an empty seat next to you. Throw that elbow open and extend a foot into nothingness… this play is going to be good! Pro Tip: use the empty spot for your jacket, bags, and program.

The Friday Five, February 10, 2012

FIVE THINGS CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER NEVER SAID (BUT I LIKE TO THINK HE DID)

Canadian Icon, Christopher Plummer says a lot of things. He has never said any of the following, but sometimes, when I lie awake at night, I imagine that he has. Come, imagine with me...

by Matt G of Matt and Kyle and Matt

The Friday Five, February 3, 2012

Five Reasons Why The Friday Five Is Always Five

by Kyle Gatehouse of Matt and Kyle and Matt

1. A regular room has six surfaces, the ceiling, the floor and four walls. The stage of a theatre has only five, the ceiling, the floor and three walls, the fourth wall has been removed to allow the audience to experience the magic of theatre. Whenever you say "five" to anyone, this is immediately what they think about, so it was a no-brainer to have a list about theatre be comprised of five walls, oops I mean five entries (sorry I accidentally wrote "five walls").

2. It was almost called "The Friday Six", but everyone was worried that it might be misinterpreted as a blog about Satan, since six is the first of his three numbers (the other two are also six, his number is six six six or 666 or six6six). 

The Friday Five, January 27, 2012

FIVE THINGS TO DO WHEN A BLACKOUT OCCURS DURING A PLAY

by Matt Raudsepp of Matt and Kyle and Matt

Give someone near you the middle finger

We've all been there before... you arrive at the theatre and run into that acquaintance you secretly despise. You're forced to be pleasant with them before the show begins, making small talk, secretly interior monologuing pure hatred and anger at your misfortune. Well, when the house opens, mark where your "friend" sits down. At the first blackout, stand up in your seat and violently flip the bird at your unassuming target. Do it stealthily and silently, but extremely forcefully for maximum enjoyment.

The Friday Five, January 20, 2012

5 Reasons Why There Should Be More Nudity in Montreal Theatre. 

I hardly need to list 5 reasons, do I?  Nudity is a reason in and of itself. This may as well be a Friday One. The reason there should be more nudity in theatre is because it’s nudity, and it’s great. But so as not to break with tradition, here are five other reasons why there should be more nudity in Montreal theatre. 

by Matt G of Matt and Kyle and Matt

1. Actors are beautiful.
Actors and Actresses are sickeningly beautiful. More beautiful than regular people. And as punishment for being so beautiful they should be naked all the time.  

The Friday Five, January 13, 2012

Five Ways To Trick People Into Thinking You're A Good Theatre Actor

Don't know how to act? Don't worry! These five indispensable tips will not only get you through your next production, they'll earn you an armful of accolades and a hospital bill full of broken legs!

by Kyle Gatehouse of Matt and Kyle and Matt

1. Obnoxious Vocal Warm-Ups

Before every show, make sure to slowly walk around the stage ("explore the space") while humming, popping, screaming, barking, singing and generally being a loud nuisance. Why should you be the only one suffering for your art?

The Friday Five, January 6, 2012

FIVE REVIEWS OF WILDSIDE FEST SHOWS BASED ON THEIR TITLE (I HAVE NOT YET SEEN THESE SHOWS)

I'm not even going to read the previews, or any captions or descriptions of the shows. I'm simply going to review what the titles imply.

by Matthew Raudsepp of Matt and Kyle and Matt

The Friday Five, December 23, 2011

5 gift ideas for theatre-lovers

There’s something for everyone in this collection of theatre-related gift ideas…

by Matt G of Matt and Kyle and Matt 

1. Oedipus Rex, the Boardgame. 

Roll the dice and travel across the beautiful Grecian landscape, but don’t land on Tragic Flaw or you start right back at the beginning. Be the first to have sex with your mom and kill your dad. Fun for the whole family!

The Friday Five, December 16, 2011

Five Ways to be a Good Scene Partner

There are a lot of unwritten rules of theatre etiquette, especially when it comes to performing a two-hander. Here are five ways to ensure a solid and lasting relationship with your scene partner. 

by Kyle Gatehouse of Matt and Kyle and Matt

1. Learn Your Partner's Lines

This is useful so that you can silently mouth them in time with your partner as they deliver them. This way the audience is impressed that you know both your own lines and your partner's. Also, it makes you look like a big stupid who isn't paying attention to what their mouth is doing during the scene and it throws me off when I have to look at your idiot lips mouthing my lines, Mark.

The Friday Five, December 9, 2011

FIVE GREAT THEATRE EXPERIENCES THAT WEREN’T THEATRE AT ALL

Inadvertent drama is happening all around us. The following are five “shows” I’ve suddenly found myself thrust into as a reluctant, yet eventually fascinated and riveted, audience member.

by Matt Raudsepp of Matt and Kyle and Matt

The Friday Five, December 2, 2011

FIVE THEATRE WORDS AND THEIR SURPRISING HISTORY 

Do you get as excited about etymology as I do? If so, read on…

by Matt G of Matt and Kyle and Matt

1. Fourth Wall. 

‘The Fourth Wall’is a term describing the unseen wall that separates the actors from the audience, but a couple of hundred years ago, many productions would literally have a fourth wall. They soon realized this fourth wall blocked much of the action from the audience and usually added a couple of windows and a doorway, but still, many successful productions were staged entirely unseen.

The Friday Five, November 25, 2011

Top Five Ways To Promote Your Play

Let's face it, theatre can't compete with videos of cats on the Internet. A thirty second clip of a cat falling asleep has ten million views, and the last theatre show I was in struggled to fill a house of one hundred. Perhaps the problem lies in promotion. Most theatre shows with a small to medium sized budget will do little in the way of advertising, since most of their funds will be spent paying the cast and crew, then burning what remains in a holy effigy to the God of theatre, Ed Mirvish. But fear not! I've compiled a list of five ways to advertise your theatre show without breaking the bank. 

by Kyle Gatehouse of Matt and Kyle and Matt

The Friday Five, November 18, 2011

FIVE FIRST AND LAST LINES FROM FIVE PLAYS I'LL NEVER FINISH WRITING

by Matt Raudsepp of Matt and Kyle and Matt

1.

Curtain.

Eloise Tree enters her modest apartment and collapses onto her couch, face first.

Eloise: (muffled) hmmpf mm hmm ab tull!

[...]

Eloise spins around and falls into Dr. Gully-Veneer's chest.

Eloise: (muffled) grambbmmm hmmpf yub refwoo!

Fin.

The Friday Five, November 11, 2011

5 Things That Should Replace The Orchestra Pit. 

The orchestra pit is one of the oldest and flimsiest theatre institutions. An underground stable of men and women with bowties and puffy shirts, stealing the attention away from the actors onstage and keeping us from moving forward into the 21st century. In this day and age, audiences are looking for something more interactive in the theatre, bolder and more inspired. It is time to replace that wasted space underneath the stage with something new...

by Matt G. of Matt and Kyle and Matt 

The Friday Five, November 4, 2011

The Five Best Animals to Bring to the Theatre I love going to the theatre, but it's extremely difficult for me to leave the house without my cat. I immediately miss her smell, her saucy saunter, her occasional throw-ups. What if she does something cute while I'm away? Who will be there to take a picture of it and then post that picture to the internet with a hilariously misspelled comedy caption? Solution: I've started bringing my cat with me to the theatre. Here's a list of five other animals that I guarantee will improve your theatre-going experience.  By Kyle Gatehouse of Matt and Kyle and Matt

The Friday Five, October 28, 2011

FIVE LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT THEATRE

File under: Top Secret (filed under Bottom Secret).

by Matt Raudsepp of Matt and Kyle and Matt

Theatre was invented by an alien race

Long ago, just prior to the time the great pyramids were built, an alien race settled on Earth. While they had publicly enslaved us to build massive monuments to their gods, they had secretly come here to create an ancient-times “reality show” for their weekend entertainment. These aliens watched us in our newly built slave-homes behind the veil of an invisible “fourth wall”. Human interpreters were present in the alien viewing rooms to translate or expand upon things said or done by the unsuspecting ”performers”, and as such, developed an eye for the drama of human existence. Theatre was born.

The Friday Five, October 21, 2011

FIVE PEOPLE YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE IN THE AUDIENCE

For an actor, looking out into the audience during a performance can be perilous. You do not want your eyes to suddenly happen upon the wrong person, an unwelcome acquaintance, a confused or unenthused face. That’s why, over the years, I’ve learned to slightly unfocus my eyes, glazing them over, but without looking completely dead inside. Still, the wrong audience member can easily throw off even a seasoned actor like myself. 

by Matt G of Matt and Kyle and Matt

The Friday Five, October 14, 2011

Five Comments Actors Love To Hear After a Performance

Just saw someone you know perform in a play? Struggling to think of something to say about it? Well turn that struggle upside down into a smile, because I'm coming to your rescue with five foolproof comments that will leave the recipient thinking, "Wow, this person's comment was so good that they should consider writing an article about how to talk to actors after shows and then post it on the internet."

by Kyle Gatehouse of Matt and Kyle and Matt

The Friday Five, October 7, 2011

FIVE COLOURS THAT WERE ABANDONED BEFORE DECIDING ON “GREEN ROOM”

Legend has it that theatres used to have multiple “green rooms”, with each one’s walls painted differently to accommodate the multiple moods and eccentricities of the actors who occupied those spaces.

by Matt Raudsepp of Matt and Kyle and Matt