Tour Whore, June 17, 2012

Here is How I Wake Up

by Cameryn Moore

Here is how I wake up:

Reciting lines. I’m performing in the Out-of-Towner Fringe-for-All tomorrow, still working out the flow of my one-minute preview. So much can go wrong in one minute; if it goes really wrong, I’ll go over one minute and the lights will go down, and that looks bad. So I fell asleep last night at 3am talking through this short little snippet. I think I went through it maybe six times? And I woke up at 8am, fully 45 minutes before I had set my alarm to go off, and I was mumbling lines to myself.

Here is how I wake up:

Phone rings. It’s the landline. Shit. I know I set my alarm. But maybe I forgot to save it. I squint at the phone, yep, 10:05, the wankers are starting early today. Fumble for my glasses bedside, scramble for the phone, trip over the power cord to my laptop, find a pen, fuck, fuck, fuck, deep breath, “Hi, it’s Cameryn… great, I’m ready.”

Here is how I wake up:

Eyes stinging. Gah. Last night wasn’t a show night, just some eye makeup, so I didn’t bother taking it off. When I’ve got full makeup on, for a show or appearance, I always do the routine: eye-makeup remover, facial towelettes (both from Neutrogena), splash with water, light night moisturizer. It takes five minutes, tops. But at 5 in the morning that can feel like an eternity between me and my bed.

Here is how I wake up:

With the sun. Rare Saturday, with no phone obligations, no immediate promo obligations, I didn’t turn the alarm on, I’m SLEEPING IN. … No, I guess I’m not. The morning sunlight is so soft, I can’t really bring myself to resent it. I could get out early, take my laptop down to the local café, do some writing. Yeah, that’s what I’m going to do. I don’t get much chance to create out here, and the first draft of the next script is due in three months.

Here is how I wake up:

…. Shuffle, shuffle, creak…

“Psst, hey, Cameryn, I’m going over to Café Olimpico for a latté. Want me to get you one?”

What time is it?

“8:30.”

Mmph…. Yeah, okay… One sugar… Thank you…. Blrghgh…

Here is how I wake up:

No. No no no, that’s not right, god, no, STOP, WAIT, I’M NOT READY, NO! I don’t have stress nightmares much anymore, but when I do, they’re doozies. Not anything groundbreaking in terms of form or dream/psyche metaphors, they’re usually the standard late-for-shows, where’s-my-CD, no-one-recognizes-me sort of thing. But they’re strong, full-bodied, and very convincing; I often wake from them and sink back in several times before the last installment wakes me up full blast and I can’t remember what’s true.

Here is how I wake up:

Oh my god, it is sweltering already at 9am, what the fuck, Winnipeg, you are killing me.

Here is how I wake up:

Creaking of floorboards overhead. My hosts here in Montréal get up for normal work hours; I still am not clear on what they do for a living. Because I have a separate entrance and a separate kitchen, I can go for days without seeing them. I cooked dinner for them last Thursday and then… not much since. But their little household noises are around during the morning and early evening, and the quiet at night is a little weird. I am cautious coming in. Not everyone’s a Fringe-driven night owl.

Here is how I wake up:

Making lists in my head. Makeup bag, iPod for tonight’s playlist, parasol, packing-tape gun, am I going to need the hand truck to load out set pieces to the venue today? Probably, yeah. Pack a lunch, oops, getting late, better eat my breakfast soon, too. What am I wearing today? Charge the phone, scoop the kitty poop, my one task in this homestay. I don’t know what that cat is eating, but dayummmm…

Here is how I wake up:

BEEP BEEP BEEP *snooze button* …..  BEEP BEEP BEEP *snooze button* …. BEEP BEEP BEEP *snooze button* ….

Here is how I wake up:

Stretching long, sprawling out, enjoying the cool sheets, sticking my feet out from the blankets, if they’re not already hanging out, rolling and flexing my ankles and toes, feeling the ache of standing or walking yesterday for a LOT of hours, the tenderness of the soles of my feet, the stiffness of an honest day’s Fringe.

Cameryn Moore will be at the Montreal Fringe June 15-23, at Zoofest and at the Winnipeg Fringe July 19-29

camerynmoore.com